Be

My last blog entry's title made me download Erykah Badu's "On and On" today. Shame that I didn't have it as part of my collection.

No matter what, "the world does keep turnin'. What a day, what day... "

I've never analyzed the lyrics to this song, but I do like the way they sound to me, and the song is perfect for my current mood- contemplative. "The man who knows nothing knows that he knows nothing at all." Ain't that the truth! I like the idea that I continue to learn and evolve and discover how much I don't know- about the world, about myself, about people, and in relation to what there is to know in the world in total. Knowing what I don't know spurs inquiry for me, but only in certain areas. I am more apt and interested in some things, and less so in others.

Somethings that have caught my attention recently include the woman who was killed at a medical research building at Yale. As I typed that, I realized that I edited it several times, not only for grammatical correctness, but also for clarity of facts. I like to be correct. I often Google word definitions and spellings as a double check when things are being published especially. You probably won't catch me with Facebook misspellings and the like. However, I digress, it's saddening how often events like this occur. This woman went into a building a never came out. Her body was discovered in a wall. Thank God for surveillance! The search for her body was partially focused on this building because cameras did not capture her leaving the building.

Another story that captured my attention recently was that of athlete Caster Semenya. It is heartbreaking to me how much scrutiny and testing she had to go through. It amazes me to what degree people have a need to define and "know" information. Some of the things published about her have been derogatory, humiliating, and cruel- all over something (her biology) she has no control over, and people need to learn to accept and be open to. I love one of the quotes from her stating: "I see it all as a joke, it doesn't upset me. God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I'm proud of myself." I could use a dose of that brand of courage and confidence. It takes an extremely strong individual to endure what she has and not break, especially at such a young age- and to be that talented and people only see "different," is contemptible.

In undergrad, I vowed to become more knowledgeable and aware of current events and the political goings on of the world. On many levels, I have, but I've also realized to a greater degree why I am often disinterested. I have enough reality in my own life, enough pain, ample tribulations, enough for me to ponder daily and deal with. I wonder what the US would be like if the 6 o'clock news contained more inspirational stories than disclosures of mayhem and tragedy.

As much as I avoid certain types of news, I gravitate towards others. I'd never pretend not to fall prey to popular media and narratives. I was so excited to see Janet's tribute to MJ last night on MTV's VMAs. I also loved hanging with friends and commenting on all of the goings-on. So maybe life is just about a healthy balance. As much fact as fiction, as much reality as fantasy, as much substance as whimsicality, and as much of "me" as "other."

I vow not to be too hard on myself, to maintain balance in what I take in, and to put out more positivity than anything else into the world. I hope that interactions that I'm involved in, people don't regret having been a part of. I am pushing myself to reserve judgement and be open to life and respecting all that living brings with it.