SRSLY? How tu PWN ABBVS ND ACRNYMZ- How I spent my Saturday Morning

This morning, while browsing ONTD and other blogs (my blogroll has grown considerably in the past couple of weeks). I realized that sometimes users are speaking a completely foreign language. I was reading various comments and just sittin there like IDGI (I don't get it). But I have picked up a few that bring the LOLs including IDGAF (I don't give a f...which is eff these days).

I watched a youtube video of Mariah performing one of my favorite songs from Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel and thought: NGL (not gonna lie), whatever she's been gargling with doesn't have a reputation for going down smoothly. I mean SRSLY, whose voice is more raspy, hers or George Lopez'?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4MKN1AuulM&feature=player_embedded#

I read a RLY inspiring story on Bossip about a set of quadruplets gettin into Yale. TBH I hope they all go to YL and show em how it's done!

http://bossip.com/194411/family-of-quadruplets-all-get-accepted-into-yales-class-of-2014/#more-194411

then I was ROFL after reading this. Blasphemy? Maybe

http://happymealsandhappyhour.blogspot.com/2009/12/jesus-checks-in.html

I can't do it anymore, maybe when you're old it takes longer to write in netspeak than when you're 16. Other interesting reads of the day include:

NYC Condom Cover Contest

http://www.inquisitr.com/52617/new-york-holds-condom-cover-contest/

When in Rome, defer to the misinformed, or pronounce things the right way?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-small-talk/200910/ill-have-what-hes-having

On not making assumptions about people's personalities based on perceived traits that are often generalized:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/science-small-talk/200912/what-tiger-teaches-us

Love the title of this entry, and I'm sad that I missed the contest "Hey liver, its almost Christmas, Buckle Up!"

http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2009/12/hey-liver-its-almost-christmas-buckle.html

When good Samaritans go against what they'd normally do, because they're in a rush:

http://www.spring.org.uk/2009/12/when-situations-not-personality-dictate-our-behaviour.php?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+PsychologyBlog+(PsyBlog)

What would the day be like without iPhone app updates and checks? Dragon Search and Dragon Dictate seem cool, I downloaded them both

http://www.macrumors.com/iphone/2009/12/18/dragon-search-comes-to-the-iphone/

AT&T heads, think before you speak. for real

http://www.macrumors.com/2009/12/17/atandt-downplays-talk-of-tiered-pricing-for-iphone-data-plans/

These things just happen. I secretly wished this guy was my dad, cuz I got a kick out of this:

http://15minutelunch.blogspot.com/2009/12/these-things-just-happen.html

That's enough for now.

Minors Tried As Adults

One of the shortcomings of 18th and 19th century life was the way that children were viewed. The concept of adolescence hadn't really come into play yet. Children were looked at and treated like small adults. Nowadays, some look back upon historic views of children and wonder how people ever thought that way.

As we have learned more about how people develop over time, as a society, we have begun to ascribe a greater significance to the concepts of childhood and adolescence. The field of developmental psychology questions how people grow and change over time in a myriad of ways. Student developmental theories look at how people learn, what institutions want them to learn, and how we know when we've done well or done poorly.

I feel as if American society has gotten out of hand with trying minors as adults. The standard is 15 in some states, but nonexistent in others. In whose mind is trying an 11 year old as an adult a good idea? If an 11 year old person is going around killing folks, that's a (extreme) cry for mental help. How does giving a 13 year old two life sentences seem like the right thing to do? It seems to me that, for the most part, teens are seen as teens, and kids are seen as kids, until they commit a serious crime. But even as we observe theories of moral development, typical 11-15 year olds do not reason on the same level as adults do. I am not at all saying that young people bare no responsibility when having committed certain (heinous) acts, I am saying that the level of responsibility and therefore the levels of punishment, rehabilitation, or other corrective measures should not be the same for someone who is considered under the law an adult.

A whole different can of worms is adults who reason or have the cognitive ability of an adolescent, but I digress. It's bothersome that a kid can't buy a pack of cigarettes (like an adult), but can be given life sentences (like an adult). I will never pretend to have all of the answers, but I cannot ignore what I see to be a problem. Our criminal justice system doesn't even pretend to be rehabilitative, so when, literally, a kid is locked up for 30 years, what do we expect of them once they're released? We have juvenile courts and juvenile detention facilities, but refrain from using them in "certain" cases, which happens pretty often now. Why even have juvenile anything, let's just go back to seeing kids and teens as little adults. C'mon kids, back to the 12 hour work days and forget about clothing or toys with you in mind!

When dealing with people in general, but when especially dealing with young minds, intentionality is everything. What are our intentions when treating juvenile offenders as adults? What are we hoping to gain, and what are we hoping that they will gain?

I welcome your thoughts

The Life and Rhymes of....

The Life and Rhymes of a....

25 year old man who's Black

who sometimes just wants to go back

back to a time when his confidence was guaranteed

The Life and Rhymes of an

Optomist who will see the brighter side of life

but whose tongue used to have the ability to cut like a knife

When did he allow that ability to pass and make him passive?

The Life and Rhymes of a

Contemplative soul that will think himself mad

And when inevitably the chaos does ebb, he's glad

Glad to have taken the journey through himself and ended right back where he began

The Life and Rhymes of a

Man who will leave a lasting impression

that causes you to have a strong desire

to inquire about who he is

The Life and Rhymes of a

Symphonic composer, looking for the next sick beat

Using his talent to cheat the haters of their chisme

Because par is a little bit too average for me

The Life and Rhymes of M.R.E

Be

My last blog entry's title made me download Erykah Badu's "On and On" today. Shame that I didn't have it as part of my collection.

No matter what, "the world does keep turnin'. What a day, what day... "

I've never analyzed the lyrics to this song, but I do like the way they sound to me, and the song is perfect for my current mood- contemplative. "The man who knows nothing knows that he knows nothing at all." Ain't that the truth! I like the idea that I continue to learn and evolve and discover how much I don't know- about the world, about myself, about people, and in relation to what there is to know in the world in total. Knowing what I don't know spurs inquiry for me, but only in certain areas. I am more apt and interested in some things, and less so in others.

Somethings that have caught my attention recently include the woman who was killed at a medical research building at Yale. As I typed that, I realized that I edited it several times, not only for grammatical correctness, but also for clarity of facts. I like to be correct. I often Google word definitions and spellings as a double check when things are being published especially. You probably won't catch me with Facebook misspellings and the like. However, I digress, it's saddening how often events like this occur. This woman went into a building a never came out. Her body was discovered in a wall. Thank God for surveillance! The search for her body was partially focused on this building because cameras did not capture her leaving the building.

Another story that captured my attention recently was that of athlete Caster Semenya. It is heartbreaking to me how much scrutiny and testing she had to go through. It amazes me to what degree people have a need to define and "know" information. Some of the things published about her have been derogatory, humiliating, and cruel- all over something (her biology) she has no control over, and people need to learn to accept and be open to. I love one of the quotes from her stating: "I see it all as a joke, it doesn't upset me. God made me the way I am and I accept myself. I am who I am and I'm proud of myself." I could use a dose of that brand of courage and confidence. It takes an extremely strong individual to endure what she has and not break, especially at such a young age- and to be that talented and people only see "different," is contemptible.

In undergrad, I vowed to become more knowledgeable and aware of current events and the political goings on of the world. On many levels, I have, but I've also realized to a greater degree why I am often disinterested. I have enough reality in my own life, enough pain, ample tribulations, enough for me to ponder daily and deal with. I wonder what the US would be like if the 6 o'clock news contained more inspirational stories than disclosures of mayhem and tragedy.

As much as I avoid certain types of news, I gravitate towards others. I'd never pretend not to fall prey to popular media and narratives. I was so excited to see Janet's tribute to MJ last night on MTV's VMAs. I also loved hanging with friends and commenting on all of the goings-on. So maybe life is just about a healthy balance. As much fact as fiction, as much reality as fantasy, as much substance as whimsicality, and as much of "me" as "other."

I vow not to be too hard on myself, to maintain balance in what I take in, and to put out more positivity than anything else into the world. I hope that interactions that I'm involved in, people don't regret having been a part of. I am pushing myself to reserve judgement and be open to life and respecting all that living brings with it.

It's just what I do!

I continue to learn about myself as I grow up, and as I grow older. I honestly feel like I lost some quality traits that I valued along the way, and those I kinda want to get back. For instance, I am pretty confident now, but I used to be much more confident. I used to be a great public speaker, and now I think I'm good, but I talk so fast that I stumble over words and thoughts. I have come to find that when I love I love hard. When I like, I like hard. When something annoys me, it really annoys me. I like my life in the grey area a lot, but I also live feeling strongly, which makes me feel alive. I am my own toughest critic, which I like, because I'm aware of my potential and my vision when it comes to many areas of my life; I know when I fall short of that, and in a healthy way (most times) I keep myself in check. I thoroughly enjoy all of the special people in my life, and I get a lot of my energy from them. A simple conversation with the right person can change my whole perspective and aura. I love to know that someone whom I regard highly is thinking of me. When I miss, I miss hard as well. I really miss my sister right now, and several other family members including my mom and my cousin Nina. Now that some of my closest friends in life are spread out throughout the United States, sometimes I just want to go back to the days when we all lived in one place and we could hang out at the drop of a dime. At the same time, I beam with pride at their individual and collective successes, and look forward to what the future holds for us all.

I felt bad that I not written a blog in such a long time, but I know that I'm not a regular blogger. Maybe one day I will be, but a lot of the reflection that I do, I do in my own head as I go throughout my day.

The World Keeps Turnin

Oh no! It has been one month since my last entry. My bad! In the past month I have moved to the city of Orange and started my new job. Although that would seemingly be a good topic to write about, I don't feel like writin about it. I actually am unsure what to write about at all.

My friend Nicole and my god daughter came to visit So Cal last week, it was great to see 'em. She's so adorable, and definitely isn't annoying. I've nicknamed her Mini Mouse (pic on the left).

It's past my bedtime and I hate when people drone on when they don't have anything to say, so I'm going to stop here for now. Wish me luck in gettin through the novel The Soloist by next week!

Ode to iPhone

What was I doing before I got my iPhone? Nothing! That's what!

Rewind to circa

January 2007. My best friend Chrystal made me privy to a website that showed a new phone that would be launched by Apple within the next 6 months. The site talked of how the phone oriented it display to both landscape and portrait. It could be used to connect to the world wide web, there was an iPod built into the phone, you could get directions using Google Maps, it had a (however many) gigabyte/pixel camera, etc, etc, etc. As additional details about the phone came out, I began to get excited about it through osmosis. Then the phone's price was revealed. $500 for the 4gig one

! That was half of a G! But just think, I would be one of the few people who had it. It was like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, not everyone would have a golden ticket! I was alre-

ady an AT&T customer too! So, I prepared myself. There was no release date for the phone until June. Then I decided that whenever it was released, I would go with Chrystal and buy one, using the money that my family gave me for graduation from my grad school program.

So, the week finally came,

and news reports showed people lining up all over the country, camped

out in tents and all that jazz. I was not the one. We began to strategize how we would get one, what location to purchase from based on population density, SES of the neighborhood, and proximity to other AT&T and Apple retail locations. We decided against any Apple store because the Beverly Center, the Grove, and other locations would be on lock! I suggested the AT&T store in the Ladera center because not as many people would be buying them there, people would be at work, and it's far enough from Beverly Hills and the rich White areas, where folks could afford to take off of work for such a purpose.

We woke up early on release day morning, went to Barnes and Noble and bought reading material, stopped by Targ

et for snacks, and discussed further how we would stand in line in shifts, keep tabs on other retail locations and if need be, how, when, and why we would abandon the plan and make another one if things needed to be adjusted. We got in line at approximately 10:3

0am. We were about 15th in line. First, was a teenage boy who had been in line by himself since the night before. We were safe. We just ha

d to wait until 4pm. We checked our accounts in the store, and re-checked elgibility and stats.

While in line, we made friends with the people around us. Star from "One on One" was in line just a few people ahead of us. Everyone had some story they'd heard or read online or in a magazine about how amazing the phone would be. People talked about how they were plotting to buy more than the alloted number of iPhones per person and sell them on Ebay. Non AT&T customers came and tried to op

en accounts the day, many of whom were turned away because of lack of staff d

edicated to that particular service that day. Then at around noon, the store closed. It would reopen at 4, after the iPhone delivery had been dropped somewhere between 3 and 4. None of the employees had seen, or touched it. Several had been semi-trained on it but could not discuss anything regarding the phone. It was li

ke a CIA operation.

That day, I was one of the thousands of people who waited in line because no one knew how many iPhones were being released. Then, I got it. I went into the store, they varified my account, I made the purchse and went home and hooked it up. I spent 2 days transferring and ditching contacts between my old phone and my new one. From that day on, the iPhone would be one of my best friends. I upgraded to the new one when it dropped in 08, and will upgrade to the 3GS this summer. Let me detail f

or you why I love my iPhone....

1) It is an iPod and I LOVE music.

2) The applications are fun and amazingly useful- games, social networks, and all kids of other stuff that I can download instantly with the touch of a finger.

3) I can get directions while driving and look up info like movie times and ticket purchases, restaurant phone numbers, and the addresses of my contacts.

4) It slowly decreases the volume of my music when I get a phone call, and slowly increases it back to the rate it was at when the call is over

5) Gmail

6) I can look up the weather so I know what to wear- and also see the weather in cities on my favorites list where my family members are (San Jose, Providence, etc).

7) I can buy music on iTunes

8) All updates are software updates, and they revolutionize what I can do on my phone. The most recent update dramatically improved battery life. How do they do that?

9) The camera takes good photos as long as I'm in good lighting.

10) I can write notes to myself and any note I can send via email.

11) I can make my own ringtones from my favorite songs using Garage Band

12) It is super compatible with my Mac Book

13) Texts messages appear like conversations

14) Touch Screen!

15) Apple has really good customer service, and yes there were glitches in the first and even 2nd generation iPhones but all I had to do was take it to the store and they handed me a shiny new one!

16) Anytime I get a new iPhone I just plug it into my computer, and it magically i

nputs everything....no need for SIM cards or loss of data

17) I can go online and view/do just about anything that I would on my computer

18) I can use my phone as a remote control to control the music on my computer using my Airport Express from anywhere in my apartment without being near my computer.

19) iCal so I don't miss appointments and birthdates, and it syncs to the caldendar on my Mac Book

20) The timer and alarm functions, I can also see what time it is anywhere in the world with the Clock function

21) The iPhone created a community of iPhone owners, sometimes its fun connecting with random people and strangers, and it happens because of the phone.

Yes, of course there are more reasons. Simply stated, the iPhone is the funnest and more useful gadget I have ever purchased. Some people are Blackberry people, and that's fine. I'm definitely an iPhone guy though. Apple > Not Apple. Steve Jobs is my homie for life!

Lists

I'm sitting in my reading and writing chair, so I have decided that I should read, or write. As the book that I am currently reading, 100 Years of Solitude, is currently across the room from me, I've decided to write. Today I'm going to make a list. Sometimes I think that I should make lists of things other than groceries and "to do's" so that I do not forget them. I'm making a list today of books that I liked/loved. The items on this list appear in no particular order : )

The Misbegotten Son by Jack Olsen- a true crime book, it was intriguing, read it in high school

False Memory by Dean Koontz (ok, I have read a lot of Koontz' work, I also liked The Door to December and Intensity) It was kinda long, but I couldn't put it down!

The Pleasure of My Own Company by Steve Martin- a good summer read, and the namesake for my blog.

The Lies That Bind by Edward DeAngelo- a real crazy story about a man who, after divorcing his wife, finally decides to get a paternity test for his 13 year old son. Turns out, he is not the biological father. He grapples with what it means to be a father, and what his relationship with Sam will be.

The Warmest December by Bernice McFadden - man, if you want to cry, read this one!

Soulfire by Lorri Hewett one of my favorite books from when I was a teenager; a good coming of age tale with a Black protagonist and his friends.

There are No Children Here by Alex Kotlowitz- a book about to young men growing up in Chicago projects written by a journalist

Falling Leaves by Adeline Yen Mah- a story about an unwanted Chinese daughter

The Whiteboy Shuffle by Paul Beatty- a coming of age story about a Black teenager growing up in Santa Monica in search of his identity, this book was comedy.

Somewhere in the Darkness by Walter Dean Myers- who doesn't like WDM?

Ellen Foster by Kaye Gibbons- a fictional story about a sassy little girl who becomes orphaned and makes her way in the world

Killing Johnny Fry by Walter Mosley- a sexistential novel, man this book made me blush. But it did raise some interesting questions. If you're feelin adventerous, pick it up.

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger- yes, this is my Blogger screen name, this book has some great lines in it. Holden is hilarious, and I found a great quote that explains why I have chosen the career path that I have.

Arranged Marriage by Chitra Divakaruni- my high school english teacher had it as a choice for a unit that we did and I really liked these short stories, I began to think about a life totally different from anything I'd ever experience.

The Stories Julian Tells by Ann Cameron- Julian and his brother Huey are hilarious. Two Black boys who tell about their adventures in their neighborhood. Their imaginations run wild, and this is one of the first chapter books I ever read that had Black characters.

The Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle- Philosophy 101, I loved this book, in just thinking about how to define good and bad and choices. Of all Philosophy readings, I think I enjoy reading about ethics the most.

I read mostly fiction, I see reading as an escape. Reading for me is just like watching movies, except I get a lot more creative control. There are several books that I've started or stopped reading that I intend to finish at some point including:

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (good food for thought)

The Leadership Challenge by James M. Kouzes (good for person-building)

The Importance of What We Care About by Harry Frankfurt (interesting so far, essays on value, responsibility, and the like).

The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen (I've started this book twice and never really make it all that far)

Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Nietzsche (I had to put this down, I needed to mind-map things out before I proceeded, too dense to read all at one time)

and books that I want to read in the future-

The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde

Dreams from My Father by Barack Obama

The Audacity of Hope by Barack Obama (I bought this in hardcopy after seeing him on Oprah...so I need to read it as not to waste my hard earned money!)

Learning Reconsidered I and II- professional development reading for myself.

Leading with Soul- by Lee Bolman

Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone

Books I might re-read include

The Souls of Black Folk by W.E.B. DuBois

Have any recommendations or feedback, gimme a shout. Otherwise check out some of these books and tell me what you think.

PS- the LAkers lost tonite :(

My Sister

"A sister can be seen as someone who is both ourselves and very much not ourselves - a special kind of double." ~Toni Morrison

Today, my sister turned 21 years old. It's unbelieveable to me. I grew up with her, this amazing, thoughtful, funny, independent young lady. I have always loved my sister (ok, except that one time....), and taken special care of her. My family members love to tell me stories about how when she was an infant, and I was a kid, she would only stop crying for me. I remember once, my sister was very upset, and no one could get her to calm and stop wailing. Whether she was tired, or irritated, or missing my mom, I dunno. All I know is when I took her from the hot potato- like hands of family members and held her, she quieted down and fell asleep in my arms.

I remember when I dislocated her arm with a tug-o-war blanket tug. I felt so bad, but of course I didn't mean to. I remember when I gave her rug burn under her chin from dragging her around the house. We were both having so much fun until she started crying! Then there were all of the times that we made tents and secret hide outs in our room and had picnics. My sister and I have created so many recipes in our summer boredom. Classic was the time we made "cinnamon banana cornbread" which looked delicious but tasted disgusting. I can't remember whose idea it was to feed it to the neighborhood homies, but oddly enough, they loved it....all while we laughed our heads off! There were lots of times when, as the big brother, I was in charge of dinner. I was confined to microwave cooking so I became a master at making meatballs or eggs.

Gone are the times when she lost her bus pass and wallet 8 times a year and my mom had no choice but to get her another one because we had to take city transportation to school. I relish the memory of the period when my sister was my shadow. Everywhere I went, she went. Everything I wanted, she wanted. As annoying as that period was, it was endearing. Growing up, we found so many different ways to fill and pass the time. We navigated San Jose like no other using VTA busses and light rail lines. What bus lines didn't go to the mall? We found ourselves visiting Eastridge, West Gate, and Valley Fair way too often because it was summer time and the malls were air conditioned.

How close we were as children was only contrasted by how much distance I felt from her when we were teenagers. How much did I long to go back to how things used to be? As we both matured and began paving our own way in the world, we connected at opportune times. She's the one who got me hooked on Gilmore Girls, which became our Tuesday nite sacred time together- when I was welcomed into her room (as long as I didn't bring popcorn).

I missed her dearly when I went off to college. I felt as if I was missing out on so much, I wasn't there to give her advice about high school! Now that she is away in college I know that what she is experiencing is much more valueable than any moresels of wisdom that I could offer. I look forward to our conversations as we connect on common experiences living away from home. I admire her so much. I love how she has grown from being a "little me" to being her own person. As I reflect this evening, I am so proud of her and happy to have her in my life. I cannot imagine my life without my sister. Andrea Erving, have a very happy 21st year of life!

"Having a sister is like having a best friend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they'll still be there." ~Amy Li

What Happens to a Dream Deferred?

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

-Langston Hughes

I'm not sure what to think, or if this is fair. I stand back and marvel at my own life, sometimes observing myself from my young boy eyes (my 12 year old self observing my 25 year old self)....I never would've imagined that I'd turn out the way that I have. Self esteem is not something I'd say I struggle with, and I know I've worked hard for what I've attained in life. That being said, deservedness is not something that I question. But in my disbelief, I sometimes momentarily question my worthiness. The answer is always the same though: because I am destined to be great. Not great in the sense that I will be President of the United States, or some world acclaimed author or motivational speaker, but great in the sense that I will actualize into who I think I should be over time. That is great.

Call it crazy, or lucky, or destiny, or whatever you will, I always knew that I would be a teacher. Since kidnergarten. I looked at my teacher, and what she did, and said to myself "I want to do that." When I later on began to understand economics, and I heard others, or teachers complain about how much money they made, I decided "I do not what to do that." Then I dreamt of being a lawyer, still helping people, and capitalizing on the fact that I like to argue and persude and can speak well publically. Who wouldn't want that kind of earning potential? At 15, law school was the new thing for me. I'd wear fancy suits and carry a brief case and speak eloquently before a judge or jury. You should've seen my face when I was told how long law school would take! I wanted to get out of school as soon as possible.....and that meant NOT doing more than the "required " 4 year degree.

Serendipty arranged for me to encounter a young Black male substitute in 9th grade, who told me that I should not decide what I want to be when I grew up based on how much money I'd make in a career, but by what I would enjoy. "Do what you like, and the money will come."

Heeding this advice, and that from my 9th grade Science teacher, Mr. Castanos, I decided that after college, I'd join Teach for America. Afterall, Mr. Castanos was a fun, young, engaging teacher, and that's what I wanted to be. He made Science bearable, and was different than many other teachers I'd known. He called us all by our last names, so that was the first year I began to know myself as "Mr. Erving."

When I was accepted, funded, and went away to Marquette University in August of 2002, I felt like my dreams to that point had all come true. I was in college, out of California, and exploring my independence. Thanks to Accel Middle College, I knew what I was interested in, and already had knocked out a year of college credits. I went in as a Psychology major with a minor in Sociology. I enrolled in education courses and decided I'd pick up a 2nd major. However, after sitting in Educational Theory 001 for a few weeks, "screw this" is what I said. I did not want to study and read about how to teach, I just wanted to do it. I knew that I could, furthermore I didn't want to spend additional semesters student teaching and the like. 2005 was my goal for graduation and I was sticking to it. I emailed Mr. Castanos, asked him about TFA, and my that became my focus. I switched my major and minor (Major: Sociology, Minor: Psychology) because researching things in labs with rats didn't sound like my cup of tea. I got hired at Marquette's Service Learning Program, became an RA, and was accepted into TFA in January 2005. Happy Birthday to me!

Here is where the conflict began. I loved being an RA. There was little separation between me and my job. When I saw that job description inside I said, "that's me!" And that was me. Programming, relationship building, conduct, student government, all rolled into one job! I was rollin along just fine, knowing I'd move to Los Angeles and teach for 2-3 years. What I was to do after that, I didn't know.....I decided to let life take me where it would.

wait......hold on, there

was just an earthquake!

(5min later) whew! Thank God I wasn't hurt. That was some serious shaking, nothing fell though.

Then someone said to me "you'd be a great hall director, have you ever thought about a career in student affairs?" Once that statement was uttered, it was all over. I knew exactly what I wanted to do after teaching. It was setteld, I'd teach for 2-3 years, then become a hall director. Imagine, getting paid to do something that you enjoy. Teaching, I knew I'd love that, but I also knew that there'd be additional things that I'd love in life, why put all of your eggs into one basket? Variety is the spice of life, and the idea of a "career" scared me. Doing one thing, forever? Why? That seems like it would suck, a lot! I developed the 2-3 year theory- teach for 2-3 years, do something else for 2-3 years, then do something else. Tap into my abilities and strengths, and avoid the word "forever" (or at least until retirement).

I taught 3rd grade for two years and loved it. Then I decided I wanted a new experience, I wasn't ready to leave the classroom yet, I still needed to grow. So I signed up to teach at John Liechty Middle School. 8th grade, English and United States History. Talk about growth! Middle school aged students are the most challenging to teach. By the end of 2008 I was ready to move on to a non-teaching position. I began submitting applications to Southern California Colleges and Universities, and even picked up an interview. Chapman University. I prepped, I researched, I charmed, then I waited for the results. After not being hired, I would not be moving in to residence life in the 08/09 school year. I did however land the position of lead teacher. I would be out of the classroom work building a small learning community (SLC) at JLMS. This was a great fit. I learned administrative skills, honed my planning abilities, organized student government, and all kinds of other interesting ventures. I quickly realized that full time teaching for me was done, but part time teaching (electives and interventions), that was the biz! It was like the best of all worlds.

Chapman did not hire me, but it wasn't a "no," it was a "not yet." No and not yet both start with "no" though, and I hadn't been told no before. I was knocked down for a bit, although I knew I shouldn't be because '08 was a win/win situation. I worked hard over the next year, not only in my lead teaching role, but also to beef up my professional swag. I read, researched, attended conferences, observed, networked, shadowed, sought mentors and advice, and entered the Spring 09 hiring season much more prepared. Potential employers saw a challenge: me "tranisitioning" from K-12 education to higher education. To me, it wasn't a challenge. I am me. I am a leader, and I could lead in a variety of circumstances, I just chose to first do so in LA's classrooms. Again, I interviewed, this time as an equal or

better to other candidates that I encountered. I knew when I'd nailed and interview, and even when I wasn't offered a job, I knew it wasn't my loss. And then, the waiting began. 2nd interview with Chapman, after the previous year's experience, I felt like it was now or never (not really). Resident Director interviews are all day affairs. I had to be on my A-game for not one, not two, but FIVE interviews throughout the day. This did not include lunch and dinner, where I was still "on" eventhough it was a more relaxed environment. Weeks passed, and no decision was made. Then I got the call, just when I began to sweat and second guess myself. I was offered a position as a resident director at Chapman University. As I knew I would, I accepted it, outright. All of the hard work paid off. During the Spring I felt like I was working 2 jobs, one that I was being paid for, and one- the work of securing a new job, which would pay off in the long run. It was exhausting, it was trying, it was enlightening, and in the end it was rewarding. There is nothing like getting something that you've worked hard for. Nothing. My dream had been deferred, first by choice, then by God's design. As I try to take it all in, I ask. Why is this happening to me? It was all surreal until I verbalized it to my mother. Even after that, it takes me articulating it for reality to sink in. Leaving JLMS will be so bittersweet, but I am ready for the next challenge.

"It would seem that the only time we ask ourselves 'Why is this happening to me?' is when our lives feel like crap. When they're good, we don't ask any questions, cos we're too busy enjoying it."

A Few of My Favorite Things

Lemonheads, grape juice, bathing and showering, reading, Stevie Wonder's music, and napping- these are a few of my favorite things. About once a year I get the urge to make some chocolate milk. This evening, I did, and it was delicious! Speaking of Stevie Wonder, tonite I had iTunes playing his catalogue in a random shuffle and came across songs that aren't my absolute favorite, but do have their moments. For instance, All Day Sucker is a great song, and I also love Another Star. Today, I even jammed to Boogie on Raggae Woman. I think one of his most feel good songs, aside from Sir Duke is Dancing to the Rhythm, the live version.

I think there's a Stevie song for every time and place. Depressed? Try Lately, All Day Sucker, I Never Dreamed You'd Leave in Summer, or I Don't Know Why. Elated? I was Made to Love Her is probably a good fit; and of course you couldn't go wrong with Overjoyed, Positivity, or Signed, Sealed, Delivered. Got "Swine Flu?" How Come, How Long might work, or Village Ghetto Land.

At any rate recommendation # 2 in How to Win Friends and Influence People is "give honest and sincere appreciation," and since Mother's Day is coming up, I've been brainstorming tokens and ways that would do just that for my mom. I'm tinkering with the idea of getting her a book or two, she likes to read. In a Pay it Forward kinda way, I've also been reflecting on how I can ensure that the people in my life that mean the most to me know it. Aside from that, even random people whom I appreciate by virtue of who they are or what they do, I want to be better at expressing gratitude. I think the key is to be specific and genuine. I value making a habit of this. I'm still working on the be on time resolution. On Saturday, I got to Pinkberry to meet my friends 5 min late, and it pained me. That's a good sign, right? Everyday, I want to be a better person than the day before. It's easy to be the same from day to day, but with change and improvement in the forefront of my mind, I see my vision being realized.

Having Children Must Be Tough

I am not in the business of ruining lives, actively. But where is the space to teach and inform another human being about how they will/may be perceived in the world without shattering their world? Such a precarious position to be in, that is. As a Black man (and I will always capitalize the "B" in Black because I am not a crayon) it is tough to educate younger Black men and explain what they are facing and why. At what age and under what circumstances do you confirm to a young brutha that the feeling that some folks are out to get him is not unfounded? I commend my parents for doing what they could to prepare me for the world that I would face later on. At best, I believe that we have to give young Black men tools and insight into dealing with the world at large, which we hope will become increasingly friendlier to them, but also know that this is something that may not happen in their lifetime.

After watching the film American Violet and reading losangelista's blog on "swine flu" at http://www.losangelista.com/, I am reminded on a cerebral level, that I need to be willing to fight and be one step ahead of the game. Raising Black male children requires a set of resources and tools that are different from raising (arguably) anybody else. I began to reflect and today articulated that the ability to manage one's self and influence how other's perceive one is something that Black men have to master in order to make it in America. Those who end up institutionalized often find themselves in that circumstance partially because of the inability to manage their anger, anxiety, frustration, confusion, and the degree to which they are offended. Who we are is defined, to a large degree, by how we behave under pressure and in difficult circumstances. The latter fact is not specific to Black men, of course, but a point that anyone raising a Black child need be hypersensitive to. You can't create a diamond without heat. To all of the Black parents out there doing the best that they can to raise their sons in a way that prepares them for this world, thank you. Finding the right time or opportunity to slowly spoon feed him reality, first mashed up like baby food and later in chunks accompanied by love and support, all while pondering the question of "when" is a challenge that I am not sure many recognize as such. I will be the first to cosign that being Black in America is tough, and being a Black man even moreso, but behind every strong Black man is someone that prepared him to be himself in a world that is not always apt to befriend him.

cleanliness is next to godliness, but timeliness is not.

How do you want something and not want it at the same time? Every morning I wake up, in plenty of time to get ready for work without rushing. Yet every morning, I do things that would cause me to rush to get ready to leave my apartment. With the exception of Saturdays. My sense of time is not grounded in reality when it comes to getting ready for things. I am aware of my inaccurate projection of how long it will take me to do something or drive somewhere, but I still go along with it anyway. Old habits are hard to break.

This is my morning routine: wake up before my alarm goes off at 7:02am. Surf music blogs, CNN, Facebook, and Gmail. When my alarm goes off, snooze it, because I always feel like I might want to take a 15 or 30 minute siesta. While I'm previewing/downloading new tunes I snooze my alarm 1-3 more times. When it is approaching 7:30, I start "getting serious" about wanting to get up, but usually wait until 7:35 before I hop out of bed, plug in the iron, turn on the shower and begin dashing about my apartment getting ready to leave the house at 7:50 (but usually 7:55). I judge how long I've been in the shower by how many songs have come blaring out of the speakers connected to my Airport Express. After 2-2.5 songs I'm drying off and dashing about multitasking, because I think that if I'm doing more than 1 thing then I'm being more efficient (although I know this is not really true either). I then proceed to walk out of the door 3/4 dressed (shirt usually unbottoned, pants almost zipped, shoes maybe tied, nothing tucked in, du-rag on my head but not tied, belt in the loops but not buckled). I complete these tasks while driving on LaBrea and getting on the 10 freeway for a mile because within a mile I know if I should get off and take the streets or not. All the while I am texting my mom or friends "good morning," finding my "ride to work music"- usually a mix between gospel and uptempo r&b/pop tracks, and hangin out on Facebook and other iPhone apps. As I get to work I walk/jog to my office while redirecting/reprimanding students, to make it just in time to write tardy passes. Oh, the irony.

I've made a committment to do more reading, so I've picked up a book that I thought I'd lost a few months ago called The Leadership Challenge. That's my "at work non-fiction read" while Always Running is a text I'm reading with a class. For good measure I'm also paging through How to Win Friends & Influence People. Ahh yes, I also picked up 100 Years of Solitude the other day, I'd like to conquer that one as well. What've I learned so far? The #1 desired quality in a leader is honesty, second only to being future looking, which is followed by a preference for competence. Good thing "on time" didn't make the top 3 hahaha.

Tomorrow's another day.